Some things never change... #Imcurious #life #prettylittleliars #thanksobama #imisscali

Curiosity is so strange, isn't it? It makes us search for things that we have know idea about. I can honestly say if I was a cat, I'd be the origin of the saying. PSHH I'd probably be a gangster cat, like Garfield. Anyhow, no matter how old I get, how much experience I have in life or how many mistakes I make, it seems inevitable that I will still search for some sort of finish or climax that I have no idea where it is. I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret... I just want to be amazing. I don't know what exactly I will end up doing in these next few years, but with Grad school soon to end, my baby BellaMarie is getting older. I'm becoming more antsy. But here's the breakdown:

Love- For me it seems to only come from above. Of course we have friends, and I have quite a few people who are worthy of my love. But there's still only so much you can give to certain people. Even if we are designed to love, that does not mean that we know how to do it correctly. My future wife? She's still hiding, or maybe she's trapped in a castle most likely in Spain. I'm too broke to go and save her now, I'll just send her some Ramen noodles haha.

Life- I'm getting back into soccer! Go Deutschland! A few friends have stepped up and made the transition easier and I appreciate that. I'm back on my running grind. Preparing for a few upcoming 5K's, feel free to join. Church is a blessing and I have been blessed with some good people and I love the youth there. (I hope that didn't sound creeper-ish) But it is the truth. I can feel a good heart from a mile away.

Lesson- This one is a little more passionate. Everyday that I wake up, I feel like I'm missing some sort of window or opportunity to make a difference. I've learned that every day is a fresh start with fresh thoughts. Don't dwell on what you could've done when there is oh so much left to do. Be bold, be beautiful and be different. I will not stop until people can look at me and smile out of admiration and respect. Watch me!

We all have something inside of us that makes us curious. Even if it's the type of curiosity to get you into trouble, it still shows that you have some fire in you to explore and be brave. Never let the curiosity die. When it dies, so does your dreams.

I can't even! HAHAHA Anyways, GUYS my NPO is almost entirely done. I'm finishing my Articles of Incoporation and I'm ready to make a difference. I taught Bella how to 'Pray' and now I'll see her in heaven haha Oh and I'm officially addicted to Pretty Little Liars. (Not just because they are all amazingly attractive) It's actually captivating. I'm going to have to get to bed now. I have a big day today. I love all of you guys. Message ME! RunPrayCreate!!!

If I Could, I'd Punch Him In The Face Again #ohboy #imback #Gameofthrones #Whitecollar

Yes, I punched someone right in the face! Quite a few times... Do I regret it, that's honestly a question that would have to be discussed in detail. (I'll give you the brief version of the story at the bottom)*
 We all have things that we do and we know we shouldn't yet we still don't regret the choice we made. AND THAT'S OKAY! It's our life. We make mistakes and honestly they just make us wiser, stronger and a little rougher. Go watch how a diamond is made and you will see that we are worth the struggles, hardships and mistakes that we burden ourselves with! As I'm writing this I'm listening to Ain't It Fun by Paramore "Don't go crying to yo mama, cus your on your own, in the real wooo ooorlllld!" HAHAHA Y'all know that I'm singing my heart out to. But ANYWHO back to this message. Make All Of Your Mistakes, as long as they don't have permanent consequences. Because I will NOT bail anyone out of jail. I have BILLS! HAHA seriously. I MISSED you guys, seriously. Sorry that I have been so selfishly preoccupied with my own life to worry about whether or not if I was informing the world of my happenings.

Okay so Game of Thrones has just been so well played. I'm stoked to see where Sansa ends up and if you read the books and try to spoil it for me, I will find you and I will kill you. SO DON'T! And if you guys have not watched White Collar, it is hands down one of the most clever shows of the 21st century regardless of its soon departure.  GUYS.... I have gained muscle and now it's time for me to cut and become my lean, mean self again. JOIN ME on my diets, that actually won't be a mistake that you make. Or at least a good mistake! But I have 2 new jobs, a different car, closer to God, and just preparing for my graduation that will be here sooner than later. I love you all. RunPrayCreate!!!

******(Okay long story short, I was at Roxy and the guy was getting beat up by this girl and so I tried to stop the girl from beating up the guy and then when I turned my back to him, he hit me in the back of the head. I turned around to see why, and he just smirked. Yes I was a little more fiery then, and he was definitely consuming something stronger than a Whiskey sour, but my GHETTO instincts kicked in and I reached across a group of people and started going at him. His girlfriend now tried to stop me but it was too late, I had the RED, BLURRED Vision. Eventually the bouncer pulled me off kicking and swinging hahahaha. TRUE story!)

Should I Become A Stripper? #seriousquestion #igiveup #future #scandal #gameofthrones

Seriously, I have thought of all the pros and cons of becoming a stripper. It makes sense... Aren't I a college student... Isn't that WHY we have strippers! So then, shouldn't I become one. I've checked. It's not as simple as it seem and I'm way to beautiful to be glued to a pole. Let me rephrase that.. I'm way to intelligent to be stuck to a pole. Let me rephrase that one more time... I'm way to BLESSED to be bound to a pole. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with how a person makes a living, and it took me a while to understand this, but it is the truth. Whether you work at:

1. McDonalds

2. Construction

3. The hospital

4. WalMart

5. Or mow lawns

THAT IS YOUR JOB! That is what you do! That is your Grind! No one can judge or tell you that it's nothing because it is something, it's yours! So do it!And do it well. I have been going through hell since I moved from California, but my facade is like steel and I keep a positive outlook to receive some optimism in turn. Monetary, physical and emotional burdens surround me... But I don't give up. Because in the end I have Faith and Hope to hold onto. They are two powerful sentiments that keep me trucking and I know my time is coming. I may give up but I never give in! And this right here is to tell you. Grind On! Work Hard! Pray Hard! And do you! Your time is coming, God will take the lowest of people and put them above millions with the flick of a hand. He loves and only wants the best. But he just like any job, he has to know that you want it as bad as he wants it for you! So work.

In the words of mi abuela: 

"It won't always be this way, trust me. 

It's about to be better than you could imagine." -Starline

And I want y'all to know. I'm always there for any of you. If you need a hand, a thought or just someone to yell at. Message me, call me, snapchat me, tweet me! I will listen, I won't judge, I care for everyone of you. I love you. Don't ever think otherwise.

P.S. Scandal is just great I mean Olivia is being put through the fire. Her dad is definetely showing that he deserves to be Command. Game of Thrones! BAHAHAHAHAH Joffrey died. I'm sorry but it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't fake or if he wasn't a total douchebag! But I'm excited to see what Sansa ends up doing. RunPrayCreate!

I have a disease... :( #affected #nocure #healme

I'm sorry to inform you guys but I have a disease. And it's deadly. I think it's about time that I told someone. Who better to tell than you guys who support my blog, my family and friends. It's highly contagious and incurable.

Disease: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts

 that impairs normal functioning and is typically

 manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms. (Merriam-Webster)

I'm afflicted by motivation. It just might be the end of me. I have so much that I want to do, see and be. It's sickening and actually gives me symptoms such as headaches, random spurts of energy and anger. I sometimes spend days trying to figure out how to fight it. Such motivation cannot be good for one person. Is it bad that I want to make a difference in every life that I come across? Is it sad that I get upset with myself when I don't achieve the simplest thing such as finishing homework on time? (Although it's because I know if my hw is on time, than my grades will be on point, then my degree will be on point which means my success and future is on point) If you don't know what I mean by on point.... 

Think about the last time you worked hard at work or school and received that A or that huge paycheck that left excess in your wallet. That's on POINT! So will my disease consume me physically and soon mentally??? I THINK SO! But I'm gonna let this disease take over and I'm gonna spread it to everyone else. I need to thrive, to win, to change, to live and make a difference. What is my life if I leave nothing to help others? 

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_motivational.html#Wq26v6J9kqHCM4Gz.99

 "The will to win, the desire to succeed,

the urge to reach your full potential...

these are the keys that will unlock 

the door to excellence."

-Confucious

I missed you all! My Non Profit Organization is still underway guys, I'm still in the heart of my book that I'm writing and this week I will began volunteering as a mentor for at Risk Youth. I'm at my goal weight and have gained inches on my legs and arms due to my intense cardio and weighlifting. Praise! I have work guys and that's why I've been GHOST haha. But I'm still beautiful and creative! ;) I love you guys and I'll post again soon! RunPrayCreate!

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_motivational.html#Wq26v6J9kqHCM4Gz.99

Shut the *&@% UP! #chismoso #loyalty #allupinmybizness #partition

Yes I am about to go in!!! Why can't people ever just keep quiet or better yet keep something that they've heard to themselves. I am victim to gossip too but I try to not be the Chismoso! (Gossiper for the gringos) haha. But seriously, If I tell you something you don't have to go "whispering" it to every person that smiles at you, because most likely they either don't care or they're just going to judge you for being a gossip. SHUT UP! I'm talking about just about everyone! Why not leave some kind of mystery in your life and other people's lives, especially if you claim to be their friend. If I had a penny for each time someone has walked up to me and asked me about something that they heard from someone else about them..... You would see me hanging with Bill Gates on a daily basis!

I'm dancing to Partition by Beyonce as I write this HAHAHA

Yes it is that bad. And this comes from no loyalty. That's the saddest part about relationships (platonic, kin and romantic), they have no loyalty. Loyalty is when you know no matter what happens, the person you are loyal to comes first. That's what I call  a "Ride o' Die!" What happened to those kind of relationships! THEY DON'T REALLY EXIST. Nowadays you can't even tell your own parents things without the message getting to your friends or vice versa! It's ridiculous. Note this:

I actually tell people who I find disloyal certain parts about my life

just to see how quickly they began to spread it and the best

part is, they always do. I'm actually so deceitfully 

perceptive that I figured this out!

#notagoodthing

My Abuela never ever ever tells anyone anything that I say to her without asking me if it's okay. She is such a gangster! That's why she remains a the top with God. Both are straight hood peeps. But don't get me wrong there are 3 people in my life who just astonish me with their loyalty, respect and honesty. Ricky, Rosney and Carolina. Those are three of my friends that just have such amazing traits that I wish i possessed as gracefully as they do. I could tell Rosney something and never expect him to use to harm me or spread. He's more loyal than a Dalmatian, to all of his people. Carolina could have $5 and I could too and she would still give me hers. Ricky would show up if I called him just to make sure I'm okay, not to see what happened or any juicy information about me that he could tell someone else. THESE ARE REAL NIGGAS! (Excuse my french) But these are my Ride O' Dies! They live life, love people and never intentionally try to harm anyone! I'm usually the one that leads them to gossip haha!

Okay now that I had a little vent, I got a cool job working with kids, My NPO is still on schedule, I'm happy, back in the gym hardcore trying to get my boobs back and my obliques to be sharp! Also I really want better biceps haha. FWP

Now let's stop gossiping. Especially amongst your friends and family. If you have a current girlfriend or boyfriend, don't complain to them about your long time friends or your family because chances are your relationship is never going to be as permanent as family and some friends. Choose your loyalties wisely because they do affect your life. I love you guys and thanks for reading! RunPrayCreate!

I'm coming out of the CLOSET! #truth #newgirl #thewalkingdead #revenge #loveyourself

I have no closet to come out of haha! Seriously I'm an open book and have very little things that I hide from people but I still have them... SAD but true. We all have parts of ourselves that we just despise: maybe it's our acne *cough*me*cough*, weight, looks, where are lives are going, social status, financial struggle or lack of motivation. There's a huge list of things that eat us in the inside and we never tell people because of our fear of being judged, pitied or even envied. We have this awful preconceived notion that strangers "care" about us. NEWSFLASH!!! Not Really! Everyone is so preoccuppied with their own lives they could care less about what you or me are doing! So stop worrying and DO YOU!

Now I must say on my own accord, half of the things that I wish I could take back are pretty awful but all I can do is ask for forgiveness and leave it in the past. Our past shapes our future but it doesn't have to define us! I've let it define me for a few years but each day I take back more and more for myself, for my happiness. True Story! I would love to run in the rain naked because that would also make me happy.... I think. One day, one day. Anyways.

So I have great things happening in my life that should be very beneficial to not only my soul but everyone that my goals will touch and hopefully change lives and communities. God is working wonders on my heart and I want people to see it. God wants me to be awesome and I want to make others almost as awesome as I am! I'm joking... Not really. And THE WALKING DEAD is coming BACK!!!! WOOHOOO! I want to know Ricks plan now, although he's never really been in my favor. And all of you Scandal watchers, give it time but until then watch REVENGE it is a thousand times better in my opinion. And New Girl needs to bring some laughter back into my life soon. I miss Jess and those blue eyes.

Guys I love you all and to all my bootleg friends, more strangers read my blog then you guys. Seriously y'all are outnumbered by other states. SMH And remember to all my fellow sinners; "Child you're forgiven and loved." -Jimmy Needham  RunPrayCreate!

Let's Talk About Sex Baby! #marvingaye #sextalk #seriously #morals

Now I bet this title caught all you PERVERTS attention… haha I’m actually joking 90% of you guys aren’t perverts, you other 10% I should’ve started talking about goats or something through this whole piece. But let’s get down to the nitty gritty! Of course if you know me then you know that I am abstinent. And I’ve always been proud of my choice. I haven’t always been decided when I was in the 10^th grade of high school, and it was a beautiful choice that I made. NOW that does NOT mean that I look down on people who chose to have premarital sex. To each its own. But I never wanted to have multiple unexplainable partners or even waste giving myself to someone who would later in my life become irrelevant.

When a man and woman are supposed to come together to consummate it’s supposed to be explosive, magical and a once in a lifetime feeling. You can’t lose your virginity twice silly! ONCE AGAIN, I am not judging or saying that it’s wrong. Today’s society glorifies a lot of things that “I” morally see wrong, but I’m not perfect. I lie a lot and lust just as much as the next person. I just found ways to divert my urges. Why do you guys think I love running! It takes your mind and put it into a different place. (I will be writing about that soon) Something people don’t know about me is that I am a hopeless romantic. I love Twilight. I spent all weekend watching all 5 movies. My favorite movie in the world is Beastly. (Vanessa Hudgens What’s up girl!) There’s a part in the film where the guy Alex Pettyfer says to Vanessa: “You took one look at me and still said, that you’ve seen worse.” That part could bring me to my knees. Especially if Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston was playing in the background! 

Sex: physical activity that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Consummate: to make (a marriage or romantic relationship) complete by having sex; to make (something) perfect or complete.

See with the definitions above you can see that sex isn’t supposed to be just for fun. It’s supposed to complete something. When you find that person who you holds you to the ground, that’s when I believe sex should initiate. NOT when you’ve had too many Coronas, took too many Molly’s, gotten a new ring from Tiffany’s or you think that you guys have known each other long enough. Yes I also withheld myself for religious reasons but also because why do people believe if everyone’s doing it (literally) then it must be okay. NO It’s usually not! We are all lustful, selfish and twisted. Why should we follow the blind when we ourselves cannot see. 

*So I choose to walk the roads less 

traveled. It’s lonesome, filled with obstacles,

 and often ridiculed. But the rewards at the 

 end will be untouched and all mines*.

 So next time you GUYS and some girls choose that you’re “horny” and are gonna go “do it”, think about all the good reasons not to morally, mentally and physically. Wait. It has to be worth it. Whenever we wait, we feel so much more fulfilled when we finally receive what we have anticipated. I love my body and I will treat it as so.

I love you guys more than you know! Seriously you should make a goal to run half a mile when you get an “urge” of any kind. RunPrayCreate!