I Never Really Liked You #andioop #biglittlelies

We all have that one person, whether it is family, friend or a celebrity. Sometimes we just don't vibe with a person. Sometimes that person is ourselves. Me, myself and I spent most of my early twenties learning self-awareness, self-love and self-management. Now don't get me wrong, I'm FAR from perfect but as I do this PsyD in psychology, I learn more about how other people may feel unloved and then they can't show others love. WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? 

"Because no matter where you are in your life, you are surrounded by people who are lacking love and the ability to give it."
-Me

When we love ourselves we will love others more intently and our lives will show love, our workplace will show love, our careers will grow with love, our bank accounts will grow with love!

I SWEAR, I'M A LIVING WITNESS!

Now most of y'all nosy asses (and I oop) came for some CHISME, Well I'll give you a little of my details in life!

On social media, I try to keep a light profile, but I don't pretend I'm amazing or rich or better than anyone. I truly try to live my best life. I've been doing real estate classes to help fund my nonprofit BeUnleashed (beuinc.org), I'm in a dual Master/PsyD program that i'm more than half way finished with, I might have to sue my current landlord  because of some fishy behavior that they have been doing, like "losing" my money orders but then "finding" them once I hire counsel, I'm planning a trip to visit the one and only Kenny Bear and I will be going to Asia within the next few months.

Now on a lighter note... BIG LITTLE FN LIES! This show is everything and it highlights on a part of upper middle class peoples lives that we don't often see because we aren't behind close doors. I feel this show is creating emotional intelligence in it's viewers! WATCH IT, HBO!

I love y'all. RunPrayCreate!

I QUIT! #timesup #imtired

Now I know that you're wondering... What the hell is he quitting? His job? Education? A relationship? I'm gonna keep it one hunnid! I'm quitting on quitting. Lately I've been feeling too content, stuck in an endless cycle of work, gym, home, bar etc. That's not the life that I expected at this age. I know that there is more to this life than the little frivolties that combine and start to create a humdrum life. Honestly, I'm blessed to have my life to myself and have God to be helping me on this journey. I'm not very open about personal things in my life and I can say even Keith gets depressed sometimes. Don't let Instagram and Snapchat fool you! But I've been receiving new creative opportunities that I'm so excited to grow with and I can't wait until I can share it with you all. In due time. I know it's been a LOOOOOONNNNGGG time since I left a little blog about me to catch y'all up! But somethings a brewing in me and my life where I can't afford to slow down, back down or give up. Pray for me y'all! (Whoever you pray to) EatPrayRun!

Love you all, Love yourself and Love Everyone else.

Where The Beauty Lies...

We can find true beauty in the simplest things. It can be in a butterfly, a child's laughter or a slice of pizza. But what is happiness? Is it a feeling? Is it a person? Is it a place? For me, it's all of the above. I find true profound bliss in the things that occur suddenly but last forever. Today I lost a cousin who did not feel loved, he felt alone in a world full of people. I wish I had the heart and mind to put his needs before my own, but I'm weak and selfish. Does that make me wrong? I don't think so but it does make me ignorant. How do we describe life when we feel alone? I'm reading a book called Uninvited and the author speaks about finding God in the midst of all the ache of loneliness and that is so true for me as well. When it comes down to it, the only one who keeps me going on is God. Our hearts long for love from another and when it is deprived of that it becomes warped and darkened by evil thoughts and feelings. God can ease that pain and bring light but you have to find something or someone worth holding onto. I am alone is Los Angeles but I'm never lonely. My prayers, my thoughts and my feelings keep me company and motivated. As I embark on the journey of triumph and self-worth I only use the loss as motivation to continue to leave a mark. My education in psychology, my nonprofit and my connections are all things that will help me to make a deep and beautiful scar upon this earth. I'm not gonna lie, I just finished a bottle of wine so this piece is all emotion. I'm not drinking because I'm sad, I'm celebrating a life, not a death. Yeah Uncle Chis I snapchatted you those exact words haha.

RunPrayCreate!

Lonely but Nont Alone. #priceless #alone #newleaf

There are moments in our lives where we are bombarded with emotions that are so uncontrollable that we spiral into despair and wonder why things are happening to us that seem to be a misfortune. UGH it's literally the worst feeling in the world. Yet... Does that mean that it's not meant for us to feel? Personally, I enjoy feeling sad or like life is throwing rocks at me. Not because I have some sadistic fetish or anything but because it gives me the chance to test my endurance and durability. 

I have accomplished more life goals than should've been statistically possible for someone like me and I'm not finished... I hope haha Let me put one thing on your mind: "You are not alone even when you are lonely." There is something... someone that is created to fulfill every need that you have. You think that your weird little nuisances have destined you to a life of solitude??? GET OUT OF HERE! I've witnessed crackheads find love. And I mean that kind of love where they will trade their last crack to save their lovers life! #truelove.

Now my longtime readers are wondering where this is coming from.... Me giving love advice? Naw chill! I'm giving hope to people like me: So unique and perplexing that they don't even know what they want yet. I'll say this, give it time and explore your options. Life is meant to test your limits. If you try something new and it's not what you expected... IT'S Teaching you something! IF you move somewhere and feel lost, FIND out why you feel lost before you quit. IF you are dating and feel like you're destined to be alone, WAIT for that person who understands all of your quirkiness.

With that being said I must say as usual that my new show is Nurse Jackie, it's literally like Weeds meets Breaking Bad haha. If you haven't watched it, SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. (Yes that's a Game of Thrones reference) And about me, I'm getting ready to end my journey at this one job and hopefully start a whole new incredible leaf if it's God's Plan. Maybe I'll even be relocating. I'm excited for what God has in store for me! Oh yeah and NATE from Austria is moving to LA in September. He's the light of my life and I am beyond stoked as I await his arrival for 3 months, hopefully more. Just remember, Don't Give Up. EVER.  RunPrayCreate! 

Message to the Gay and Orlando Community #alllivesmatter #justpray

I went to bed at the time that many lives were being taken. I was at peace while only 2500 miles away pain was being spread through a place I call home. Why??? I don't know. I may never really know. But I know in my heart whether it was because they had a certain lifestyle that may not be considered traditional or because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time....

 They are who they are, We all are WHO we are!

 Each person inside the club was a beautiful piece of art that God put on this earth for a reason and I loved them as we should love our brothers and sisters of this earth.

"Our lives will continue,

 as they should but that does not mean that we should stop praying

 and believing that there will be a time of change, of peace, of prosperity, 

when every person on this earth will have access to clean water, a home, a love that they can call their own regardless of how it may look to others, 

a time where we can pray, eat and live wherever 

regardless of our background."

I was in tears in church and I left because my heart hurts, My pastor is in Syria fighting a battle that most people don't even think is theirs yet his heart led him to the battlefront. I can only put down words to show my heart because I have not been sent to that space within myself where I feel I can move mountains alone. So for now, I'll pray for those who have that spark and I pray that we use this confusion as a way to fuel our hope for a better tomorrow.

I love you all, whether gay, straight, Muslim, Syrian, Asian, black, white, an Avatar... It doesn't matter!  RunPrayCreate.

Let The Blessings Flow! #thegoodlife #standingtall

Everyday I wake up with a new vision in my head about what I want and need from life. I've yet to fully grasp the concept that I am an adult with priorities and still the ability to be a huge positive or negative force in life. Many people fail to remember that they have unlimited possibilities despite where they come from or their current state. I, Myself know that I must do something that leaves a positive dent in humanity. But how? Well that's what I believe I'm in California to discover. I've been bombarded and blessed with castings and job interviews. I'm a business man by degree but an entertainer by heart. So which one will overpower the other? We shall see.

But as for now I'm going with the flow. 

There's so many things that this life has to offer me and I

 plan on exploring as many as I can before my time is up!

 I pray that you all do the same!

Okay so we haven't talked about shows in a while. First off, I started watching Making a Murderer, and it bored me. (I'm sorry) But there's a show called Reign that literally will send you on an emotional roller coaster but in a good way! Watch it! WATCH IT NOW! Of course I need some comedic relief and that is a Netflix show called Sirens. It's quirky.

I miss writing and all of you but I'm busy. I'll try to get back to it soon. Eat, Pray, Run! 

Before you leave me... #alittleditty #thenextstep #love #lonelybutnotalone

"Rick woke up again only to see that he was alone in his bed. He threw his head backwards into his pillow as hard as he could and almost simultaneously a tear rolled down the side of his face and into his ear. He had this feeling of pain and anger that mixed together to this unappealing emotion that he couldn't figure out in his head. Yes he knew he was attractive and charming but why is one side of his bed always cold in the morning but not at night. Rick slowly sat up and threw his legs off the side of the bed. His dog Lola ran up and laid down in front of him and he brushed his feet along her fur as he stared aimlessly out his window. The view he had looked over Central Park. He should be happy. He shouldn't feel lonely because he isn't always alone. She was number 3 this week. He made her laugh. They planned their next date. She left before he woke up; no number, no note, no trace." 

We often forget about other peoples feelings. We think that what is important or not important to us doesn't affect others but it does. We need to remember to put others feelings in the equation before we make selfish decisions. Our selfless acts reaps benefits that we cannot even fathom. Set aside our vanity and own preconceived notions and step out on faith in love, life and anything that matters to us. Don't write someone or something off because it's not in your perfect vision but also don't settle for something that doesn't reap positive benefits for you or will make you a better person in life.

All women are beautiful and they are often taken advantage of nowadays but men fall prey to the vanity of others also.

Guard Your Hearts, Because Everything That You Do Flows From It!

A little short story that I've began, If you like it, let me know. It's symbolic and only gets more powerful. Sorry I've been gone so long from the blog. Guess what? I done graduated! Now I'm all kinds of smarts! HAHAHA yeah right! And I'm transitioning on my preparation for my next step! Yes California is my go to home but now with all these possibilities, I've applied to jobs in London, NYC, Seattle and even Boston! Pray for me! And if you don't pray, wish me luck! I want to change the world, I don't know how but I know that I must start with myself! RunPrayCreate!

A Lost Love.... #RIP #family #crackedbutnotbroken

Our hearts are only as open as we allow them to be. I am a person that does not let my heart become to warm in fear that it will be able to become penetrated and ruined from the inside out. I feel that I'm taking control and indeed I end up losing control emotionally. We as humans are supposed to share feelings and love friends and family. Family is priceless gift from God that I have never understood and perhaps I never will. Experiences have created this misconception in my heart. I'm writing this because I am sad. Which is strange because the love that I lost I never took the time to fully appreciate. I can not fathom the heartache that his close loved ones are feeling. I am withdrawn with remorse and as I write this my eyes water and my chest aches.

We must all love ferociously those in our lives

 and check in on them. 

Life is precious. 

People are priceless. 

Family is IRREPLACEABLE.

I love you Reggie and you are a fierce soldier that God no longer needed on earth to fight his battles.

I will see you soon.

Lost Love,

KJ

But Before You Judge Me.... #Notakebacks #Empire #sowhat #imfeelinmyself

I'm Guilty!!! PHEW I'm glad to get that off of my chest! I lie to often to make myself seem better even though I feel guilty immediately after, it doesn't negate the lie! I have hidden agendas that are too dark to even say and although I don't make them known that doesn't make them any less immoral or selfish. I bet you all find that part more interesting than if I told you that I spend majority of my day trying to change someone that I don't even know life or that every single day someone tells me about a problem that I have no idea how to fix but I lie to try to make them feel less pressure and more loved. I always put myself down but now it's time to step back and build myself up!

I AM FEARFULLY MADE. Not only to be a loving and strong man but to give all of myself to others. And no that's not sexual. PERV! Haha That's emotional and spiritual and powerful! #notthepervpart I have cried because I didn't know how I could make someone's life easier. I give a lot. (Of course I take, but I believe that I appreciate what I receive) This is about me and what I must say I love the most about myself is my ability to understand most people's point of view; from the conservative upper class housewife who drives a Bentley to the illegal single Peruvian mother with 2 kids working as a maid to feed her children.

BUILD YOURSELF UP TODAY! Even if you know you're selfish and you could care less about everyone else and their problems. There are some amazing things about you that everyone needs to know. We are supposed to be humble but we must remember to give credit where it's due. And if it's due to you... Pay UP! I have one question:

Who's there to save the hero?

Well I have to go workout now... Don't want to be fat. Not that there's anything wrong with being fat, unless it interferes with your health.... yeah my bad. By the way EMPIRE is the greatest show, go watch it and be inspired. Someone told me that I was Cookie BAHAHAHAHA I'm not that ghetto. Also don't forget to follow BeUnleashed Inc on Instagram and Twitter. We will follow you back!

I love you! Yeah You! RunPrayCreate!

I'm leaving the church and joining El Chapo! #dontbelievemejustwatch

WHOA! Relax, I'm joking! BUT look at it this way; The church is supposed to be a community that flourishes, teaches and lives for Christ. A community sticks together and helps one another. But is that really what church looks like nowadays? Have we as a community invested in each other spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially? Will we do ANYTHING for our fellow brothers and sisters? From what I've seen, all those answers would be NO.

Now before you judge me, go read about El Chapo. His "brothers and sisters" literally patiently took 20 something odd years to try and get him back to them, yet we complain about picking a friend up who might not have a car. El Chapo is basically a MAN who is worshiped as a god and followed and feared. We think that we worship, follow and fear God, but do we really? Would we spend almost three decades committing our lives to him? I'm feeling a lot of no's. Now a know that El Chapo may have ordered some threats and deaths upon people who got tired of helping him or maybe even turned against him. That should encourage us even more to invest our lives in God! HE DOESN'T have us murdered because of our lack of loyalty. He loves us so much that even when we break his heart and fall short of his expectations, he still waits for us to find our way back. Why can't we be this way for one another? Humanity is being humane: Are we kind to people?

I want to be with a community that 

follows their hearts entirely and commits to 

being faithful to something greater than themselves, 

I want to wake up and know that I could go to a group of individuals 

who have similar ambition and motives as I do. 

It's not the cartel, is it the church? Is it God's people? Is it family? 

Give me one group that loves me the way Jesus loves and I swear I won't help El Chapo! Hahaha

Sorry it's been a while guys! I've been busy trying to make a difference! I love you all.
RunPrayCreate!

I'm Living With The Devil #lucifer #maninthemirror #beunleashed

What if every single person that you love, right now just disappeared from your life. Would you have any regrets? Why? Shouldn't we treat everyone as precious as they are? Yeah? So then let's FREAKING DO IT! I've had the pleasure to meet amazing CEO's of different Nonprofits and CEO's of schools and businesses and they honestly speak about the people that mean the most to them. These are people putting in 60 hours a week. What's your excuse? Oh you have too many classes? You have work? SUCK IT UP! Love the people who bring happiness to your life.

I know it's been a while since I wrote about anything but I have been completely enthralled in my NPO. #BeunleashedInc That means Nonprofit Organization! 

YES, I've finally made the leap. It assists under resourced young adults and also aspiring artists. 

It's me in a nutshell.

 I will keep you all posted and start a whole social media blow up soon!

 "Don't believe me just watch!" When we have talents or gifts, they are not meant to be hidden or hoarded.

 We must use what we are given to change our life and the lives around us in a positive way. 

Who are we to deny other people from something divine and unique that we have been given? 

I have an app for this blog on my phone so hopefully I'll start posting more.

Some weird things have happened in my life, I've been an auto accident, questioned by detectives and now I'm at a very blessed point in my life so these huge events in our life always happen for a reason. I have a new vehicle now, it's older but it gets me where I need to go and has all the amenities that I need to survive. One thing has been bothering me though..... "LOYALTY". What happened to this quality? Family and friends use to try to move mountains to help someone that they care about, now people have become so self absorbed it's always me, me, me or I, I, I. If you have something extra, help someone who doesn't. I feel like I'm living around a bunch of devils instead of saints. Change. I'm not perfect but I try my hardest to not be selfish.

As I leave work, where I am writing this, I'm going to my apartment to eat, watch The Vampire Diaries and sleep. Work is at 4 AM. AGAIN! I love you all! RunPrayLove!

We All Need To Be Loved ;D #valentinesday #dontberude #Scandalisback

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! If you're single, don't kill the vibe of those of us who are in happy committed relationships and looking forward to enjoying our day with the person or people we love. #monogamy And yes I, Keith Myers Jr. am in a relationship. I have always been in one, I just don't act all ratchet in public with my lover. We spend all our time together, they feed me, make money for me and I know for a fact that we will die together. His name is also Keith Myers Jr. HAHAHAHA Ain't no shame in my game! Who loves me more than I do that are of this world? Me. I love me more than I do... If that makes sense. Naw it doesn't. But anyhow I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to get back in the groove. I really should try to do this once a week. Thanks guys for being faithful readers! I have a lot that I need to release!!!! First off, why are people so incoherently selfish. I mean do they not realize that there are other people in this world that also have needs that need to be met. If I'm kind enough to do you a kindness, at least you can do is say thank you. Or reciprocate, what goes around comes around right? So why must people not understand that kindness is a gift but gifts are meant to be appreciated. Let's stop thinking about everything that ails us and actually think about someone else. Here's a quick story:

So if you know me, you know that I have a very wide variety 

of friends that I surround myself with. (Not in a sociopathic way... I hope)
So lately I was discussing finances with my Abuela, and we both 

noticed that now that I got my shopping under control, I have this urge and 

KINDNESS to always pay for friends when we are out. We assessed the problem and realized I would save hundreds of dollars A FREAKIN MONTH if I 

stopped doing that! I know right!?!?! It's insane. And the part that got to me 

most though is when I would catch myself paying for someone, 

they would decline once and then just give in (so much effort right) and enjoy what 

I graciously gave them. I always persistently decline.

 Yet I have one friend who I know for a fact will 

buy me anything I need or want without a second guess. And I love him unconditionally.

 Seriously. 

So as of now, I will pay only for me. Unless Bella is there or I'm at an investor meeting. Speaking of investors..... MY NPO! Pray for me everyone that I know that believes in that higher power. I need serenity, ambition and dinero! Haha no joke though. Pray. I know I'm all over the place but some things take precedence. Oh little side-note, I had two friends do inappropriate things in the backseat of my vehicles and I had to summon the patience and understanding to not slam on breaks and send them both out of the window. It was gross aaaannnnnddd disrespectful. But that's none of my business... 

I am full of love. I can love like you've never seen. If you give me the reason to love you that way. And it doesn't have to be in the way of a lover. It can be a friendly love. I try not to find fault in people without getting to know them. I'll cross the world to save a friend, empty the savings, fight a bear or even punch Justin Bieber in the face for someone I love. When you think that you have no one and I show up at your doorstep, that's MY KIND OF LOVE. And for me Valentine's Day is a day to declare love for someone who stands by you, believes in you and loves you without pause. And that person has been me thus far. It's not a pity party, it is a self praise party!  That's my message.

Now to my fellow Netflixers. I'm going through Dexter and it is intense and enthralling. Rita died and a piece of me did also. Scandal is back on TV now and it is better than before. I actually want Mellie to come out on top. She deserves it. Revenge is a show that not many people I know watch, but it has me biting my nails with every passing scene. The gayest thing about me is that I love GLEE! I'm a Gleek and I don't care who knows! And this last season breaks my heart but Glee has ran its course.

On another note I love all of you who are reading this and even those who aren't. You have my heart. Don't drop it. If you do it's probably one of my clone ones anyhow haha.

Now go make a difference and LOVE! <3 RunPrayCreate!

Blame It On the Night. Don't Blame it on Me! #maturity #love #gatlinburg #happynewyear #whitecollar

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

-Leo Tolstoy

I love to write. I write when I can't think, when I don't want to talk and even when I want to understand. Anyhow, I needed to write something for the New Year and my dearest old 'mom' inspired me. Or rather ignited an urge of passion. Which sucks, I wish I had more reasons to express myself. Which gets me to the point. I don't. I don't wake up and say what I want or yell when I'm upset. Most of us level headed people don't. But I was not always this aware of my actions and flaws. Which I believe makes a person more susceptible to change and growth. Maturity... I honestly lack if I allow the facade to fall. Which happens in passionate moments and altered state of minds. *cough* alcohol *cough*. Most of my life I was completely ungrateful, mild-mannered, egotistical, stubborn, selfish and vicious. (And I never had friends because of these faults, until a boy named Frankie was a little worse than I was. I didn't understand his thought process so I just observed and saw that he wasn't liked, but tolerated. And I didn't want that to be me.) 

God is working on my heart and mind and it doesn't happen overnight. Every day, every hour, every year I grow! I mature. I learn. I lose. I fail. I love. It all is masked beneath a pleasant, church going, hardworking and respectable student. That is hard. THIS IS HARD. But it works. I have an abundance of friends who I cherish and I meet new people everyday who I beam with excitement to get to know. This is the only time I express myself to someone, the Internet and my viewers. So it may not be right and it may sound childish, selfish and ignorant but when I have a lapse of judgement in a situation it doesn't bother me as much as people feel it should. (And it may never make sense to some people, and that's okay. We can't help or change everyone.) I'm an awful person in so many ways, I understand. But aren't we all a little screwed up or is that just on Keith street? Let this little kettle slow down I suppose before a pot gets upset! I will not say a new year, new me. But I will say New Year, more aware me. I have no regrets about any part of my past, at all. Change will come when God sees fit to throw me on the path. But for now... I'll talk to everyone, watch a lot of Netflix, work hard to make a difference in myself and my surroundings and talk a lot of junk. (I've been punched in the face plenty of times to know how it feels) haha #olderbrothers #drunkenguysatbars

But I do honestly respect opinions and I understand them, but that doesn't mean that I agree. So HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I LOVE YOU ALL! Don't drink too much! Teehee and My NPO is still crawling so be patient guys! I have 7 classes this Spring, 2 jobs and a baby Bella who wants all my attention so everything takes time to be formed close to perfection! And a little more time with my schedule! OH YEAH I'm fat now so I will be back on the 25 mile a week and 5 days in the gym! White collar has ended and so has a piece of my heart! 

RunPrayCreate! 

Ferguson Opinions... Really? #peacebestill #opinions #love #hate #ferguson

"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions"

-Leonardo da Vinci

I have been stuck, rather bombarded with these hurtful and misguided opinions about Michael Brown and how Ferguson has reacted to the verdict. Truth is, this happens every single day guys. What makes this trend more important than all the other innocent lives that are taken whether it's here in the U.S.A, Africa, Mexico or Iraq? Why do you guys care so much now when you should care this much all the time? As for the racial separation, now is a time where you guys can show that race should not be a factor in a situation where it seems to take the wheel.
We are all brothers and sister in Christ. He does not see our skin complexion, our faults and our opinions. He sees our heart. So show your heart and not your hate. Love is the only thing that should be lifted up and posted on our Instagrams, Tweets, Tumblrs' and Facebook profiles. Let's pray for the officers and the victims. That's where our power lies. There's only one person who can change the hearts of the jury, judge and rioters. And He's not reading your Facebook post, He's reading your heart. Now I don't have a side but only the heart and understanding to say that I have been told I was useless and even looked down upon because of my color and I still don't have a bias opinion or outlook. I pray. When I don't understand, I pray. When I hurt, I pray. When I succeed and understand, I pray for humility and thanks. So I have one word for you all that don't understand: PRAY. 

RunPrayCreate.

Needing A Reason To Go On... #mentaltsuicide #thisistheend

Yes, sometimes the most simple and absolute questions have a perplex answer. Who am I to tell you what to do with your life or what's right from wrong when I don't entirely understand my on circumstances. I know that I'm meant to do something that will make a difference in lives and I know that I must be patient and faithful to get to that destined euphoria.... BUT Patience is not a virtue that I was lucky enough to have. So one thing I must  remember is that before I stop and become complacent in my life, I must envision a greater future for myself and those that I influence. Life is full of surprises! Why QUIT when you are so CLOSE to that break away.

That point in your life where all the heartache and struggle seems to have not been in vain. 

That point where you can stop and look back and smile. 

That point where you know that your kids are proud of the parent that they have been blessed with. That point where you look the way you've always wanted to for you and not for anyone else.

 That point where you sit at the beach, watching the sunset with your Citrus Mojito.

(Which I honestly love.) 

So whenever I feel I need encouragement, I write not only to encourage myself but to encourage others in the same predicament as I am. The ones who wish they lived somewhere else, had someone else in their arms or a different future lined up! Guess what!?! It's NEVER too late to change any part of your life. Even if you have kids with the wrong person or a job that pays all your bills! Don't let the temporary setbacks of life have permanent outcomes. If it's not helping you.... SHAKE IT OFF! Leave it dwindling in the dust of your mental rear-view mirror. If you want to be in California... GO! (That's me just convincing myself to drop everything and leave.... I need to, I really do!) I'm going back right now! Naw not yet haha If only!

Okay so about me: Nonprofit is still in it's womb but I'm kind of nervous so I have been beating around the proverbial bush! I have been physically in the right state of my fitness level and I feel great! Haha that sounds like an infomercial. School is whipping me like a slave who tried to run away and was caught. Work is amazing, I love being an educator for now, and my kids lighten up my life most days! I miss a lot of my friends who are busy with their lives but who am I to feel that I deserve a moment of their time... (That's sarcasm) But anyhow til next time I get a splurge of late night energy! I love you all! RunPrayCreate!!!

P.S. If you don't want Scandal, Revenge, Supernatural or American Horror Story don't ever read my blog again until you become obsessed with them all!

Players Gonna Play... Haters Gonna Hate. #bangbang #dropitlikeitshot #iphone6

Yes you are 100% right! I am listening to Taylor Swift as I right this! But WAIT don't judge me just yet! It's Anthem Lights! My favorite group! Yes they are a boy band... (I know that doesn't help my case) But I swear that I'm a boy! And you have to watch the video first before you make a judgement. There's a reason!

This song is actually lyrically inspirational. And you guys know how much I love to be inspired! Taylor gets kudos points. But I am SOOOOOO sorry for my long absence. But I am back and with a vengeance. I realized something has been missing from my life and it has been my recreational activities such as soccer, fishing, reading, writing, singing, dancing, shadow boxing and just being plain stupid. I have been too serious. And that's not me, I understand I'm older now and should be career focused but life is too precious and what people think really doesn't matter. "SO DO YOU BOO!" (For all of you who said I wasn't "up to date" I am now!) All thanks to a friend whom she know who I'm speaking of! BUUUUUUUT Let's get to it! I'm doing Amaze Balls. I've been bombarded with school, life. work. friends. Not that you guys don't fall into my friends category. Because you do!

I have an amazing job working with some amazing kids. They literally make me laugh more than they give me a headache and I love all of them. My dog BellaMarie is doing great, but she's gaining a little weight. Not my fault I swear! But if I get low on food, we all know what's on the list... Chinese Food! (You get it? Because I'm gonna eat my dog) Yeah that's what I thought you better mentally chuckle. If you guys are out of the loop go watch Mistresses, it's a show that will sneak up on you and blow your mind! OH yeah I wrote like 2 songs and they are pretty dope! I mean seriously I might just be the next Luther Vandross or Frank Sinatra! Don't doubt me.

So I want you guys to do me a favor and every day do one thing that you would absolutely not do normally. I will let you guys know my funniest that I've done out of my comfort zone: "So I was screeching to this song called "Rather Be" when this little old white couple pulled up next to me... I looked them right and the eye and said "No no no no no no place I'd rather be!!!" while wagging my finger and moving my head side to side. Yes I'm acting a fool these days! I have to calm down! But you know what She got a booty like a Cadillac and I can send her into overdrive! Ahhhh I'm still in college for all you weird people who have to ask me that question! Let's Be Real! I'm the smartest dumb person that you guys know! After all I just found out that Rhode Island is a state!!!

Alright read me soon! I love you guys and Do what I asked! RunPrayCreate!

P.S. Don't get iPhone 6 or Pigs Will FLY!

Some things never change... #Imcurious #life #prettylittleliars #thanksobama #imisscali

Curiosity is so strange, isn't it? It makes us search for things that we have know idea about. I can honestly say if I was a cat, I'd be the origin of the saying. PSHH I'd probably be a gangster cat, like Garfield. Anyhow, no matter how old I get, how much experience I have in life or how many mistakes I make, it seems inevitable that I will still search for some sort of finish or climax that I have no idea where it is. I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret... I just want to be amazing. I don't know what exactly I will end up doing in these next few years, but with Grad school soon to end, my baby BellaMarie is getting older. I'm becoming more antsy. But here's the breakdown:

Love- For me it seems to only come from above. Of course we have friends, and I have quite a few people who are worthy of my love. But there's still only so much you can give to certain people. Even if we are designed to love, that does not mean that we know how to do it correctly. My future wife? She's still hiding, or maybe she's trapped in a castle most likely in Spain. I'm too broke to go and save her now, I'll just send her some Ramen noodles haha.

Life- I'm getting back into soccer! Go Deutschland! A few friends have stepped up and made the transition easier and I appreciate that. I'm back on my running grind. Preparing for a few upcoming 5K's, feel free to join. Church is a blessing and I have been blessed with some good people and I love the youth there. (I hope that didn't sound creeper-ish) But it is the truth. I can feel a good heart from a mile away.

Lesson- This one is a little more passionate. Everyday that I wake up, I feel like I'm missing some sort of window or opportunity to make a difference. I've learned that every day is a fresh start with fresh thoughts. Don't dwell on what you could've done when there is oh so much left to do. Be bold, be beautiful and be different. I will not stop until people can look at me and smile out of admiration and respect. Watch me!

We all have something inside of us that makes us curious. Even if it's the type of curiosity to get you into trouble, it still shows that you have some fire in you to explore and be brave. Never let the curiosity die. When it dies, so does your dreams.

I can't even! HAHAHA Anyways, GUYS my NPO is almost entirely done. I'm finishing my Articles of Incoporation and I'm ready to make a difference. I taught Bella how to 'Pray' and now I'll see her in heaven haha Oh and I'm officially addicted to Pretty Little Liars. (Not just because they are all amazingly attractive) It's actually captivating. I'm going to have to get to bed now. I have a big day today. I love all of you guys. Message ME! RunPrayCreate!!!

If I Could, I'd Punch Him In The Face Again #ohboy #imback #Gameofthrones #Whitecollar

Yes, I punched someone right in the face! Quite a few times... Do I regret it, that's honestly a question that would have to be discussed in detail. (I'll give you the brief version of the story at the bottom)*
 We all have things that we do and we know we shouldn't yet we still don't regret the choice we made. AND THAT'S OKAY! It's our life. We make mistakes and honestly they just make us wiser, stronger and a little rougher. Go watch how a diamond is made and you will see that we are worth the struggles, hardships and mistakes that we burden ourselves with! As I'm writing this I'm listening to Ain't It Fun by Paramore "Don't go crying to yo mama, cus your on your own, in the real wooo ooorlllld!" HAHAHA Y'all know that I'm singing my heart out to. But ANYWHO back to this message. Make All Of Your Mistakes, as long as they don't have permanent consequences. Because I will NOT bail anyone out of jail. I have BILLS! HAHA seriously. I MISSED you guys, seriously. Sorry that I have been so selfishly preoccupied with my own life to worry about whether or not if I was informing the world of my happenings.

Okay so Game of Thrones has just been so well played. I'm stoked to see where Sansa ends up and if you read the books and try to spoil it for me, I will find you and I will kill you. SO DON'T! And if you guys have not watched White Collar, it is hands down one of the most clever shows of the 21st century regardless of its soon departure.  GUYS.... I have gained muscle and now it's time for me to cut and become my lean, mean self again. JOIN ME on my diets, that actually won't be a mistake that you make. Or at least a good mistake! But I have 2 new jobs, a different car, closer to God, and just preparing for my graduation that will be here sooner than later. I love you all. RunPrayCreate!!!

******(Okay long story short, I was at Roxy and the guy was getting beat up by this girl and so I tried to stop the girl from beating up the guy and then when I turned my back to him, he hit me in the back of the head. I turned around to see why, and he just smirked. Yes I was a little more fiery then, and he was definitely consuming something stronger than a Whiskey sour, but my GHETTO instincts kicked in and I reached across a group of people and started going at him. His girlfriend now tried to stop me but it was too late, I had the RED, BLURRED Vision. Eventually the bouncer pulled me off kicking and swinging hahahaha. TRUE story!)

Should I Become A Stripper? #seriousquestion #igiveup #future #scandal #gameofthrones

Seriously, I have thought of all the pros and cons of becoming a stripper. It makes sense... Aren't I a college student... Isn't that WHY we have strippers! So then, shouldn't I become one. I've checked. It's not as simple as it seem and I'm way to beautiful to be glued to a pole. Let me rephrase that.. I'm way to intelligent to be stuck to a pole. Let me rephrase that one more time... I'm way to BLESSED to be bound to a pole. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with how a person makes a living, and it took me a while to understand this, but it is the truth. Whether you work at:

1. McDonalds

2. Construction

3. The hospital

4. WalMart

5. Or mow lawns

THAT IS YOUR JOB! That is what you do! That is your Grind! No one can judge or tell you that it's nothing because it is something, it's yours! So do it!And do it well. I have been going through hell since I moved from California, but my facade is like steel and I keep a positive outlook to receive some optimism in turn. Monetary, physical and emotional burdens surround me... But I don't give up. Because in the end I have Faith and Hope to hold onto. They are two powerful sentiments that keep me trucking and I know my time is coming. I may give up but I never give in! And this right here is to tell you. Grind On! Work Hard! Pray Hard! And do you! Your time is coming, God will take the lowest of people and put them above millions with the flick of a hand. He loves and only wants the best. But he just like any job, he has to know that you want it as bad as he wants it for you! So work.

In the words of mi abuela: 

"It won't always be this way, trust me. 

It's about to be better than you could imagine." -Starline

And I want y'all to know. I'm always there for any of you. If you need a hand, a thought or just someone to yell at. Message me, call me, snapchat me, tweet me! I will listen, I won't judge, I care for everyone of you. I love you. Don't ever think otherwise.

P.S. Scandal is just great I mean Olivia is being put through the fire. Her dad is definetely showing that he deserves to be Command. Game of Thrones! BAHAHAHAHAH Joffrey died. I'm sorry but it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't fake or if he wasn't a total douchebag! But I'm excited to see what Sansa ends up doing. RunPrayCreate!

I have a disease... :( #affected #nocure #healme

I'm sorry to inform you guys but I have a disease. And it's deadly. I think it's about time that I told someone. Who better to tell than you guys who support my blog, my family and friends. It's highly contagious and incurable.

Disease: a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts

 that impairs normal functioning and is typically

 manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms. (Merriam-Webster)

I'm afflicted by motivation. It just might be the end of me. I have so much that I want to do, see and be. It's sickening and actually gives me symptoms such as headaches, random spurts of energy and anger. I sometimes spend days trying to figure out how to fight it. Such motivation cannot be good for one person. Is it bad that I want to make a difference in every life that I come across? Is it sad that I get upset with myself when I don't achieve the simplest thing such as finishing homework on time? (Although it's because I know if my hw is on time, than my grades will be on point, then my degree will be on point which means my success and future is on point) If you don't know what I mean by on point.... 

Think about the last time you worked hard at work or school and received that A or that huge paycheck that left excess in your wallet. That's on POINT! So will my disease consume me physically and soon mentally??? I THINK SO! But I'm gonna let this disease take over and I'm gonna spread it to everyone else. I need to thrive, to win, to change, to live and make a difference. What is my life if I leave nothing to help others? 

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_motivational.html#Wq26v6J9kqHCM4Gz.99

 "The will to win, the desire to succeed,

the urge to reach your full potential...

these are the keys that will unlock 

the door to excellence."

-Confucious

I missed you all! My Non Profit Organization is still underway guys, I'm still in the heart of my book that I'm writing and this week I will began volunteering as a mentor for at Risk Youth. I'm at my goal weight and have gained inches on my legs and arms due to my intense cardio and weighlifting. Praise! I have work guys and that's why I've been GHOST haha. But I'm still beautiful and creative! ;) I love you guys and I'll post again soon! RunPrayCreate!

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_motivational.html#Wq26v6J9kqHCM4Gz.99